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The CC - “Grayson, where’s your sandbox?”
“Grayson, where’s your sandbox?” It was a typical Sunday evening, but I felt adrift. In 2010, I exited Solaris Properties; I wasn’t best suited to act as a consultant. But then I found myself without a meaningful role to pour myself into. Everything ahead looked flat, empty. Frustrated with my aimless scrolling through YouTube, I lay down, hoping rest might bring clarity. What it brought was a vivid dream. I was walking through a vast landscape of sandboxes, arranged in a loose grid. Each one held people building something: one person was crafting a residential complex; another was surrounded by sand-molded product prototypes; further along, a large team constructed virtual roads and runways in a VR sandbox. Everyone had a purpose. Everyone was building. Except me. I had no sandbox. Life was feeling unsubstantial and directionless. I protested, “They’re all busy, secure in what they’re doing. I’m sure not.” Someone I recognized called out to me: “Grayson, where’s your sandbox?” I started to answer, awkwardly: “Uhmm, I don’t have one.” But then came a quiet nudge, a sense that the dream was offering me something more. A voice, or maybe a realization, came: “Your role, for now, is not to build. It’s to walk between the sandboxes, in relationship with these builders. Most of these people are working diligently within the paradigm of their vocational experience. They need someone who can speak of a broader truth, in love.” “But that’s not me. What kind of role is that, anyway?” I silently complained. “Yeah, and what’s it mean to just wander around between other people’s sandboxes?” For my past 30 plus years in business, the purpose of my relationships was to work shoulder to shoulder with others on a project, in a “sandbox”. “Whatever, forget it,” I thought. I shelved that weird dream and kept hunting for the next big thing to get into. But nothing was simple. It took a long time and a number of disappointing knock-downs to stumble into a challenging project in Kenya that again filled me with vision and possibility. Recently I've become aware of how much this dream was meant to reframe my entire value system. People aren't projects, and though they're essential to the success of a project, this doesn't define a person. Human beings are primarily designed for connection —- the relationships we build and nurture that have longevity. It’s difficult for me to discern since I have invested so much into my vocations. But vocations, for all their perceived substance and significance, are still just sandboxes we build in. Was Solaris Properties just a sandbox for me? Probably. It had a sturdy company structure with substance and intention. But, at least in my case, it was as impermanent as a sand sculpture. It was shaped by the tools in my hands, by market forces, and my personal ambition. It existed within limits. It served for a season. Solaris Properties’ President is Richard Mullen. Our relationship is rooted in something deeper. The values our two families share will accumulate dividends over time, not through productivity but through presence. Through mutual love and truth lived out. It's still with some reluctance that I admit that the substance of the next project I do, hasn't got the permanence of the rich variations that my relationships have. They are still containers. Sandboxes. But I deeply respect the people that build. And I feel vulnerable walking among others’ sandboxes. It’s humbling to acknowledge that I know so little, but as I work with people in their vocations I work to build lasting relationships. Here’s four of key principles I am exploring:
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Grayson Bain
Join us if you're yearning for business insights peppered with adventure, humanity, and a dash of humility. It’s more than success; it’s about significance.
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