Money as the Motivator is a Mistake.

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Murray*, a warm and competent man in his fifties, owned a successful handyman business with contractual stuff and many trucks on the road visiting homeowners that needed repairs. He and his wife ran the operations; he had only hired an office person to help coordinate the field work.

Murray stated, almost like a badge of honour, “Grayson, I’m constantly pushing 60 hours a week and still have $150K of billing to do for projects that are completed. I need better systems!” “This is a perfect client,” I told myself. “I could help him build new systems, grow the company, and give him the exit he desires.”
After three or four hour-long video conferences, I heard enough to know I could help Murray. I met with him and said, “Murray, you’re incredibly profitable but you and your wife are inextricably tied to your company.”

Murray acknowledged that he had no freedom from his company and needed my help. But as the months went by, he wouldn’t sign the contract for consulting. Finally, he agreed that November would be his first month, which he paid me for. But at the end of November, he told me, “Grayson, with all the holiday time in December, let’s take a break from your consulting for the month.”

I agreed, but Murray called a few times anyway. We began again in the new year, but only for two months. Then Murray wanted to take another break. “For the summer, Grayson. It’s a very busy time for me, and we won’t get much done together.” “Murray, I’ll also be busy. You can call me later, but I can’t hold open time for you.”

I wasn’t surprised when Murray texted me to get free consulting as the summer months rolled on. Murray often stated that he found my input very valuable, but he was adverse to paying me. It seemed to gall him.

Murray was very focused on his company’s profit each month, always comparing to the previous quarter and year. That wasn’t a bad thing in itself. Yet his methods were bent around the goal of making more money, to the point where he had the potential to hurt people by his grasp on money.

Murray knew he was breaking municipal rules in the way he was running his business. Because it helped him save thousands of dollars some months, he didn’t want me to help him resolve the bylaw issues. He also knew that he should declare as revenue and pay tax on some work his staff performed. I suggested, “Murray, you need to get some help on bookkeeping to deal with the way you handle government tax payments on your business.”

“Oh Grayson, you know I’m a minnow to the government. They aren’t looking at me.”

The idea of new systems or staff to help grow his business made him nervous. It would cost him money. The potential of more peace in his marriage or more competent and trustworthy staff seemed unattainable. He used his money to try and control people and systems.

Money acquired from the business also controlled Murray’s family, with an office taking up two rooms and his two part-time staff coming and going. Murray didn’t want to increase overheads by renting office space, and didn’t want to hire staff, so he “hired” his wife and kids to help out. The marriage had become a union of a boss and an employee rather than two equals. His wife protested passive-aggressively, left with no other options.

Murray was happy to tell me about what his wealth had built, where his family had vacation property, their boat, and the vacations they could afford. But he was stuck in a rut where in protecting his business he focused only on expanding his wealth. Murray thought he needed more money to open up more options. But the grasp of money became his end goal. He was holding on tight to money and he couldn’t bear to let go. It was very sad for me to see him missing opportunities for personal, social and mental health.

A lot of people who are poor want wealth, and a lot of wealthy people don’t want to be poor. That’s reasonable. It’s also obvious that the power system of wealth creates inequalities. But it’s less obvious that often the carriers of wealth are themselves in bondage to it. People with wealth seem to have so many options, but in reality they’re often so entranced by money they can’t enjoy life. It seems that money should expand opportunities, but instead it often chokes life from those who make it their goal.

Can we find a better relationship with money? If you hold on to it too tightly, your grasp on money can become like shards of glass in your hand.

*The names and identifying characteristics of some individuals have been changed.

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PS - I’d love to connect on LinkedIn if you’re on there.

See you next week,

Grayson

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