My Brother, the Mystic

“Good morning Allen, today I’m leaving for Vancouver.”

Allen stares, not recognizing me. He mumbles, “I don't know what you're talking about.”

I didn’t try further to make him understand. It's best to let him talk about what he wants, usually circular, with a few words on the same topic.

“I'm getting broken with my PPA*.”

“Hmm.”

“It's not possible for me to use my brain, so I'm getting into my soul.”

“Into your soul…” I affirm what he’s said.

“It's a pushing thing, like wifi.” he carries on, using his well-worn words.

My mind is built to explain the world. His is letting go of it.

Dr. Allen Bain holds a PhD in Pharmacology. He has led multiple companies; his most recent ran clinical trials on tuberculosis immunotherapies. I have no idea what that means, but only five years ago, Allen would have passionately explained his research to anyone willing to listen.

Allen’s massive brain used to tried to reason through his illness. But now, with so few words remaining he states, “People think it's garbage, getting into your soul. But you can't get rid of it!”

I wonder, as Allen meditates, he may be in a league of his own; knowing truths that are evident to him but unseen by me.

I don’t have evidence. Only the experience of standing beside him in silence, sensing there’s more going on than I can explain.

It’s been a three week visit, and on my last day at his house, I joined him in meditation for a few minutes. We stood silently, shoulder to shoulder, with closed eyes, no words.

I ponder all this, as I write from the Toronto airport. Is it possible, my dear brother, that as you lose language, memory, and logic, something else is found?

Allen has tried to tell me that for him, clarity comes not from thinking, but from letting go. And the “unreal” for Allen, seems to have a reality of its own.

Without the use of his mind, Allen tells me, that via meditation, his soul enters a new reality he now refers to as ‘creator' or simply ‘god’.

Like Allen, I believe we need to assent to the invisible if we’re ever to see it.

Have there been moments for you where clarity didn’t come from thinking, but from letting go?

*There's also a lot I don't know about Allen’s atypical brain function; his primary progressive aphasia (PPA) has progressed to include frontotemporal lobe dementia.

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I would love to connect with you on LinkedIn and Facebook​

See you next week,

Grayson

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