Into Murky Emotional Depths What starts out for me as a straightforward conversation, often gets tangled in murky depths of emotion. Not every problem is really about the problem. Sometimes what’s really being said, I’m not hearing. Not long ago, I was asked to consult with a bookkeeping firm that was onboarding new clients. In this portion of a video call, there’s a dialogue mismatch between the bookkeeper “Priya” and her potential client’s employee, “Anika”. See if you can spot it. Anika...

Facing Feelings, not Facts. “I’m just angry at what this leaves me. The price is too low.” After many months in negotiation, I wondered what my client was thinking. But instead he seemed thrown around by his emotions. The deal I was trying to help him with involved his lifetime work, the sale of his business. He trusted me, I think. But the deal looked like it could go off the rails. I thought, With all the challenges requiring ‘go-no-go’ decisions, what’s the use of me knowing he’s afraid or...

We worked together. We failed together. How do you deal with your feelings? I am going to wade through my discomfort and into vulnerability in a few posts about valuing feelings. ******************************** As I arrived in Calgary for a conference, I was trying to avoid this vague sense of uncertainty about meeting a former business supplier. I had pressured him into a proposal to buy his business. Didn’t work. The first morning over breakfast, I was thinking, “It ended OK, I was just...