Profiting from Listening

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Francesca, our Accounts Receivable Manager, was stubborn and prickly, and very efficient at getting money from our clients and into the bank. If at all possible, I chose to leave her alone, allowing her to do her job. But she had to call regular meetings with our sales staff, and these were frequently conflictual.

Monday morning, I left my desk to grab some papers from down the hall. Passing the A/R office window, I glanced in her direction and thought “She’s looking a bit ‘off’.”

“Not my business;” I mumbled to myself, “Gotta get this report out.”

Back to my desk, pen in hand, I started editing the spreadsheets. But my mind was still on why Francesca looked so sad.

I sighed, and pushed back my chair, “I’d better do ‘the good boss' thing, and check.”

I thought emotional awareness was indulgent; great for marriage therapy sessions, not workplaces. How did people feel at work? It didn’t seem to matter. I knew when someone was angry or happy; and that seemed sufficient. After all, how could being aware of emotions make the team more productive, or the business more profitable?

Except it turns out it does.

I knocked on Francesca’s door, and entered. She looked up, and quickly wiped her eyes. “Hey Francesca, what’s going on?”

“I’m OK,” She paused, looking down, “Well, it’s just a bad day for me.”

“Umm, uh … you want to talk?”

“Yeah, OK.”

“Come into my office, it’s more private.” She followed me down the hall, and slid into the chair across from me.

I had never seen anything crack her no-nonsense exterior, so this felt strange. I felt self-conscious for her, as she just sat there. And she didn’t say a thing for what seemed like a very long time.

I didn’t know what was happening to her, but sort of recognized that I should just be silent. It was hard not to have my mind drift off into the financial sheets in front of me on the desk.

Seeming a bit more composed, she sighed and quietly stated, “I need some time off. Before I left for work, my husband told me he’s leaving.”

“Oh, no. I’m so sorry.”

“Would you allow me some time off for the rest of the week?”

“Sure, Francesca, take all the time you need.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure Don knows what needs doing while I’m gone.”

I sort of stumbled inadvertently into respecting her: a broken but valued human being. I think she left my office feeling more composed. But all I did was wait, and then listen. Ten minutes of my time.

Somehow that one meeting changed our relationship. I guess Francesca felt I accepted her in her time of anger and loss.

In the months following, she became energized; warm and much more animated around me. She seemed to trust me.

And the meetings with both the US and British sales teams became collaborative. She wasn’t actively refusing to grant credit or force payments. In fact she was pulling with them to create fresh financing initiatives.

This resulted in more sales, and we made more profit from a ten-minute interchange in my office.

That still didn’t change my proclivity to be blind to feelings, especially negative ones. I still want to get things done with composed, reasonable people and with minimal vulnerability.

But in every connection with every person, there are emotions.

I’m off to a cafe for a couple of interviews now. I hope I can remember to listen to the emotions behind the words.

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I would love to connect with you on LinkedIn and Facebook​

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See you next week,

Grayson

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