That's not a Feeling “How do you feel?” my friend asked. “Normal, I guess.” “But that’s not a feeling.” “Yeah, OK. I’m good, fine. Whatever. Why’s it matter how I feel?” “Grayson, not naming your feelings makes it harder to connect; with others and even with yourself.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked. “If you have a limited vocabulary for your emotions you’ll have difficulty in keeping up with yourself; before you’re overwhelmed, stressed or even depressed.” “Haha. Yeah. OK.” “No...
8 days ago • 2 min read
Profiting from Listening Francesca, our Accounts Receivable Manager, was stubborn and prickly, and very efficient at getting money from our clients and into the bank. If at all possible, I chose to leave her alone, allowing her to do her job. But she had to call regular meetings with our sales staff, and these were frequently conflictual. Monday morning, I left my desk to grab some papers from down the hall. Passing the A/R office window, I glanced in her direction and thought “She’s looking...
15 days ago • 2 min read
Ambition Now Rests in Contentment Sitting in my garage bike shop, I find myself remembering the best and worst parts of owning a company. Riding 20k to work at 6:30 AM was the best part of most days: the physical challenge, mental discipline and simple freedom of riding. The rest of the day often felt like the pressure of performance targets, client complaints. Once in a while there was the thrill of being named in 30 Under 30 or winning Bike of the Year. I measured success by achievements,...
22 days ago • 2 min read
I don’t think you’re Garbage, Allen. Dr Allen Bain is a PhD pharmacologist, father of four, and he's living with early onset dementia. His huge brain used to speak to us plebes rather haughtily of his knowledge of science. As president of Immune Network, Allen was working on oral immunotherapy of tuberculosis (TB) to shorten treatment duration. I’m not really sure what all this science means. There's also a lot I don't know about Allen’s atypical brain function; his primary progressive...
29 days ago • 3 min read
The Inner Voice; You're so stupid! “Arggh!” I groaned, frantically searching “Where did I put that pass?” I blurted out loud. But no one was listening in the vast sea of travellers and trains. I was rummaging through my bags for my 10-day Eurail train pass that I had just used for the first time. Perched on a stool having a quick breakfast in the enormous Milano Centrale train station in Italy, I muttered, “I just pulled it out of this pouch to have it ready. But where did I put it?” I left...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
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about 1 month ago • 1 min read
Into Murky Emotional Depths What starts out for me as a straightforward conversation, often gets tangled in murky depths of emotion. Not every problem is really about the problem. Sometimes what’s really being said, I’m not hearing. Not long ago, I was asked to consult with a bookkeeping firm that was onboarding new clients. In this portion of a video call, there’s a dialogue mismatch between the bookkeeper “Priya” and her potential client’s employee, “Anika”. See if you can spot it. Anika...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
Facing Feelings, not Facts. “I’m just angry at what this leaves me. The price is too low.” After many months in negotiation, I wondered what my client was thinking. But instead he seemed thrown around by his emotions. The deal I was trying to help him with involved his lifetime work, the sale of his business. He trusted me, I think. But the deal looked like it could go off the rails. I thought, With all the challenges requiring ‘go-no-go’ decisions, what’s the use of me knowing he’s afraid or...
about 2 months ago • 1 min read
We worked together. We failed together. How do you deal with your feelings? I am going to wade through my discomfort and into vulnerability in a few posts about valuing feelings. ******************************** As I arrived in Calgary for a conference, I was trying to avoid this vague sense of uncertainty about meeting a former business supplier. I had pressured him into a proposal to buy his business. Didn’t work. The first morning over breakfast, I was thinking, “It ended OK, I was just...
about 2 months ago • 2 min read