Grayson Bain

Into Murky Emotional Depths What starts out for me as a straightforward conversation, often gets tangled in murky depths of emotion. Not every problem is really about the problem. Sometimes what’s really being said, I’m not hearing. Not long ago, I was asked to consult with a bookkeeping firm that was onboarding new clients. In this portion of a video call, there’s a dialogue mismatch between the bookkeeper “Priya” and her potential client’s employee, “Anika”. See if you can spot it. Anika...

Facing Feelings, not Facts. “I’m just angry at what this leaves me. The price is too low.” After many months in negotiation, I wondered what my client was thinking. But instead he seemed thrown around by his emotions. The deal I was trying to help him with involved his lifetime work, the sale of his business. He trusted me, I think. But the deal looked like it could go off the rails. I thought, With all the challenges requiring ‘go-no-go’ decisions, what’s the use of me knowing he’s afraid or...

We worked together. We failed together. How do you deal with your feelings? I am going to wade through my discomfort and into vulnerability in a few posts about valuing feelings. ******************************** As I arrived in Calgary for a conference, I was trying to avoid this vague sense of uncertainty about meeting a former business supplier. I had pressured him into a proposal to buy his business. Didn’t work. The first morning over breakfast, I was thinking, “It ended OK, I was just...

Do feelings give meaning to my life? Meh. Do.For most of my working life, I lived for projects, decisions and actions. Time used to be my most valuable asset; measured against outcomes. Do.Now time drags. What do I really need to get done this week? It’s not much. I catch myself seeking the stress of a decision, searching for meaning to fill the gaps in my day. One part of me reaches out to grab a new challenge, a new ‘to do.’ Another part sits back and wonders if this is the chance to just...

Movement in My Brain and Body I’ve always believed that movement is medicine. A lifestyle that blends regular physical activity, seems to be the recipe for a healthier brain. In the morning, I start with a bowl of 12-grain porridge, a strong coffee, and then roll out for a morning bike commute. One particular holiday ride in the Okanagan sharply reminds me how my body and brain connect. Setting out in the cool morning air to avoid the desert heat, I was primed for a 5 hour ride in the...

My Brain Needs Sleep Training For a lot of my working life, I treated sleep as optional, and stress as normal. A father of four and CEO of two bike companies, time was always at a premium. I convinced myself that six hours was plenty. Stress kept me sharp. It helped me stay calm under pressure, push through uncertainty, and remain productive. Or so I thought. What I didn’t grasp was how stress and a lack of sleep was eroding my brain. One afternoon, I was running job interviews for a new...

Not Everything has Fallen Apart. Just Something. Because of my pronounced brow, I had to find a specialized cataract surgeon who knew how to work around the quirks of my bone structure. During Friday's surgery I had a chunk of anxiety, dealing with pre-op freezing, the actual incision, then my post-op high blood pressure. I was so relieved when I finally got my Uber home. By Sunday, I was feeling elated to have the surgery behind me. My eye was healing well. Driving out of the city in the...

Feeding my Brain with Fresh Bread My pre-teen daughter exclaimed, “Let’s go, Dad!” “Alright, just you and me,” I replied. We set off on the now-familiar 1km walk through our Uzbek neighborhood, down dusty lanes, and past crumbling walls. A small crowd gathered near the bakery, a concrete kiosk. It’s obvious we are ‘outsiders’, so we’re waved to the front. No one seems to mind, and they get to gawk at our height and fair hair. Uzbek naan is made simply: flour, salt, water, and yeast. Without...

Cultivating Relationships I’ve been thinking a lot about brain health lately. About how my mind is like a garden that when cultivated, it flourishes. My brain grows when I invite people to share more deeply in my life. From a male perspective, I’ll admit this hasn’t always been easy. Like many men, I was taught that strength meant self-reliance, keeping my emotions in check, and not needing much from others. That worked for a while, but now I'm sort of retired, I realize that the viewpoint of...